Scars

We all endure tough times that leave painful scars, both on our bodies and on our hearts. Letting go of the past we despise is much harder than it should be. Learning our strengths and weaknesses is crucial to the process of moving on.

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"Scars"

In my life, I've seen chaos and have experienced joy.
Through my heartache and through my happiness, I've also learned not to be a toy.

I've heard lies and I've told a few myself.
I've come a long ways with my feelings; never putting any of them on a shelf.

There will forever be a pain and a doubt that I cannot erase.
Regardless of what happens to my fragile dreams, I will always chase.

Looking forward is much harder than what I would hope.
The past smothers me to the point where it's difficult to cope.

My weary wings are too weak to fly very far.
Feeling alone in a crowd, I look at my many scars.

I remember too much and can't ever seem to forget the things I should.
If I could go back and redo some of what I regret in my life, I would.

People say you heal in time, but is it true?
The number of times I've recovered is too few.

Explaining the words my soul has to say...
It's not something that can be by the light of this day.


Copyright Casandra Camp 2011

Thinking of Me, Thinking of You

This wasn't written for any particular reason or with any particular person in mind. It's really just another one of my lonely and heartfelt tales with little hints of self-reflection and personal confession.

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"Thinking of Me, Thinking of You" 

Cold and alone, I lay here without much feeling.
I wait, hope and pray for strength and for healing.

I do not hear with my ears, nor do I see with my eyes.
My heart and soul do everything now, seeing as how my body only cries.

I need to feel again. I need to brought back to life.
Telling me you love me, and not meaning it, is the same as stabbing me with a knife!

Maybe it won't be like this for too much longer... maybe I'll be okay.
I'm just sitting here, waiting, for someone to come and to stay.

Don't tell me only what I want to hear... tell me the truth 'cause I'm tired of lies.
People that are untrue and unfaithful; those are the people I despise.
 
I'm not like the others and yet I feel the same.
Is there anyone out there that can hear my voice, anyone who knows my name?

The person you see on the outside isn't me at all.
The real me is hidden, it is not of this world; this world that is so very small.

Although I've been cheated and regardless of the fact that I am broken,
My life must go on and I must hear the words that, from my heart, are spoken.

Imperfect and flawed, that's who I am and who I will always be.
Is it too much to want someone to love and to care for me?

I rest my head and I shut my eyes in a desperate attempt to go to sleep.
My prayer isn't just to survive or for Him, my soul, to keep.

I know I'm not the only one and that life must go on...
However, I feel an emptiness that cuts me deep down; all the way to my bone.

I'm not what I seem and I'm not who you think.
Drowning in an ocean of memories, I will forever continue to sink.

Not really knowing who I am or what to do,
I'm still here in your mind, thinking of me... and me, thinking of you.
 

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Open Door

"Open Door"

I open my eyes and look around.

I expose my soul and listen to its sound.

Everything is different now.
I don't know why, I don't even know how.

Sometimes it seems like I'm dreaming and that I'm not "me" at all.
I'm being careful not to stumble, I'm being careful not to fall.

So much confusion and frustration abound.
I take myself away from it all and in emptiness I surround.

The lights grow ever dim and the hands on the clock spin.
This life is so brutal, sometimes it seems that you can never win.

Time and effort; two things that will always devour the human race.
These things can be wasted simply by looking too intently at someone's face.

Deep feelings and true concern continue to ruin me.
The reasons behind what I do, people always fail to see.

Giving up and letting go is something that's always easier to do.
However, having faith and being wise is something that will pull you through.

I won't settle until I find what I'm looking for.
All I need now is the courage to free my spirit and open the door...



Copyright Casandra Camp 2010