Scars

We all endure tough times that leave painful scars, both on our bodies and on our hearts. Letting go of the past we despise is much harder than it should be. Learning our strengths and weaknesses is crucial to the process of moving on.

~~~

"Scars"

In my life, I've seen chaos and have experienced joy.
Through my heartache and through my happiness, I've also learned not to be a toy.

I've heard lies and I've told a few myself.
I've come a long ways with my feelings; never putting any of them on a shelf.

There will forever be a pain and a doubt that I cannot erase.
Regardless of what happens to my fragile dreams, I will always chase.

Looking forward is much harder than what I would hope.
The past smothers me to the point where it's difficult to cope.

My weary wings are too weak to fly very far.
Feeling alone in a crowd, I look at my many scars.

I remember too much and can't ever seem to forget the things I should.
If I could go back and redo some of what I regret in my life, I would.

People say you heal in time, but is it true?
The number of times I've recovered is too few.

Explaining the words my soul has to say...
It's not something that can be by the light of this day.


Copyright Casandra Camp 2011

A Night Under the Stars

 We all wear a mask sometimes. We guard our hearts, even when we know it's impossible to keep things from breaking down the walls we've built. Instead of allowing ourselves to be so involved with the dangerous world around us, we often lay under the stars and dream of what could be...

~~~

"A Night Under the Stars"

From my soul flows a river of uncertainty and fear.
I don't know myself anymore. I often ask, "Am I really here?"

Feeling so angry and yet so carefree,
I can't help but wonder what must be wrong with me.

I stare at the mirror and smile in an attempt to make it look real.
No matter what, I cannot hide from anyone the way I really feel.

The silence is too deafening and the screaming from within is too quiet.
Only in the morning do I wake to see if I've survived the night.

What used to be is gone forever. I don't know why it's so hard for me to see.
Haunted is my mind, body and soul... slowly being devoured by my own memory.

I hear the people whisper and I see them turn away.
I shouldn't care so much... but it's hard not to do that today.

I'm hanging here by a thread, on the very edge.
Not to fall again... to myself I've made a pledge.

Another day ends as I sit here under the stars and sky.
Hoping, dreaming and wishing... those are some of the things that help me not to cry.

Is understanding and caring too much to ask?
What will it take for me to be happy enough to remove this mask?

A small plea for help escapes my heart and drifts farther and farther away.
I'll sleep here on the cold grass until peace comes to stay.

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Lost and Lonely

A lot of my poems have a theme about them, I've noticed. They're greatly influenced by the feelings I have during the moment that I decide to write. Most are very melancholy, as I'm sure most people can see.
Writing has become a great outlet for me and it's encouraged a lot of other artistic abilities to surface. I'm grateful for these feelings, however lonely they may be. They're helping me to become a stronger person with each release.

~~~

"Lost and Lonely"

Watch me as I sleep. Keep me safe from the storm.
Can't you feel my body shaking? Won't you keep me warm?

I hear the thunder far away, ever growing near.
Don't wake me as I lay here dreaming. It's only reality I fear.

Look into my eyes and take my lifeless hand.
This moment will soon be gone. Lost forever like a grain of sand.

The clouds form around me and I forget where I'm going.
In which place can I find the knowledge of the knowing?

A hungry soul and a tortured mind,
This life hasn't been easy... and it certainly hasn't been kind.

Oh, please take me away. I long to go where I cannot, at the moment, see.
I suppose I'll just have to wait though. Wait for someone to set me free.

Fragile and fading is the dream within my heart.
Confused and unsure, but never completely apart.

Hold me and tell me all the things I need to hear.
Whisper that you love me and that you'll always be near.

Talking to these shadows and running my hand along the wall,
I do believe I've gone insane... but who, to help me, can I call?

Humming an old tune and simply lying on the ground,
I wait and wait, for eternity, hoping to be found.



Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Thinking of Me, Thinking of You

This wasn't written for any particular reason or with any particular person in mind. It's really just another one of my lonely and heartfelt tales with little hints of self-reflection and personal confession.

~~~

"Thinking of Me, Thinking of You" 

Cold and alone, I lay here without much feeling.
I wait, hope and pray for strength and for healing.

I do not hear with my ears, nor do I see with my eyes.
My heart and soul do everything now, seeing as how my body only cries.

I need to feel again. I need to brought back to life.
Telling me you love me, and not meaning it, is the same as stabbing me with a knife!

Maybe it won't be like this for too much longer... maybe I'll be okay.
I'm just sitting here, waiting, for someone to come and to stay.

Don't tell me only what I want to hear... tell me the truth 'cause I'm tired of lies.
People that are untrue and unfaithful; those are the people I despise.
 
I'm not like the others and yet I feel the same.
Is there anyone out there that can hear my voice, anyone who knows my name?

The person you see on the outside isn't me at all.
The real me is hidden, it is not of this world; this world that is so very small.

Although I've been cheated and regardless of the fact that I am broken,
My life must go on and I must hear the words that, from my heart, are spoken.

Imperfect and flawed, that's who I am and who I will always be.
Is it too much to want someone to love and to care for me?

I rest my head and I shut my eyes in a desperate attempt to go to sleep.
My prayer isn't just to survive or for Him, my soul, to keep.

I know I'm not the only one and that life must go on...
However, I feel an emptiness that cuts me deep down; all the way to my bone.

I'm not what I seem and I'm not who you think.
Drowning in an ocean of memories, I will forever continue to sink.

Not really knowing who I am or what to do,
I'm still here in your mind, thinking of me... and me, thinking of you.
 

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Liar

I wrote this poem about people that I've dealt with all throughout my life... people that are liars. I didn't write it in their honor, either. More like in their "dishonor" of being dishonest...

~~~

"Liar"

Look at that little lie escaping from your lips.
You go around telling stories; your awful words making frequent trips.

Get your hand off my shoulder and get out of my way.
I can see straight through you and I know who you are today.

In your deceiving ways, oh, you think you're clever.
Falling for more tricks and empty promises is something I refuse to do forever.

Don't smile at me with that ugly mouth, from which spews nothing but poison and deception.
You want attention? Expressing disgust towards what you've become is my only exception.

I hear you banging and clawing at the door to my heart.
The key that once existed has now rusted; long ago did it fall apart.

Stop pretending to be someone you obviously never were before.
You may fool them, but I know what goes on in your mind and behind that closed door.

Go ahead and act without wisdom. Go ahead and step closer to your own demise.
I look at you and all I see is weakness; I can even see a hint of fear in your eyes.

Try as I may, try as I might, I have no more pity for your kind.
How can I pity people who go and make the eyes of their heart blind?

Like a child without any instruction, you run all around.
You'll be sorry when nobody comes to comfort you after you fall to the ground.

Do not come looking for me; I am yours to torture no more.
I've gone to where you cannot find me, somewhere that I can soar.

You're trapped by your own devices and you're consumed by your own hate.
I only hope that others can see the real you before it's too late.



Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Open Door

"Open Door"

I open my eyes and look around.

I expose my soul and listen to its sound.

Everything is different now.
I don't know why, I don't even know how.

Sometimes it seems like I'm dreaming and that I'm not "me" at all.
I'm being careful not to stumble, I'm being careful not to fall.

So much confusion and frustration abound.
I take myself away from it all and in emptiness I surround.

The lights grow ever dim and the hands on the clock spin.
This life is so brutal, sometimes it seems that you can never win.

Time and effort; two things that will always devour the human race.
These things can be wasted simply by looking too intently at someone's face.

Deep feelings and true concern continue to ruin me.
The reasons behind what I do, people always fail to see.

Giving up and letting go is something that's always easier to do.
However, having faith and being wise is something that will pull you through.

I won't settle until I find what I'm looking for.
All I need now is the courage to free my spirit and open the door...



Copyright Casandra Camp 2010