A Night Under the Stars

 We all wear a mask sometimes. We guard our hearts, even when we know it's impossible to keep things from breaking down the walls we've built. Instead of allowing ourselves to be so involved with the dangerous world around us, we often lay under the stars and dream of what could be...

~~~

"A Night Under the Stars"

From my soul flows a river of uncertainty and fear.
I don't know myself anymore. I often ask, "Am I really here?"

Feeling so angry and yet so carefree,
I can't help but wonder what must be wrong with me.

I stare at the mirror and smile in an attempt to make it look real.
No matter what, I cannot hide from anyone the way I really feel.

The silence is too deafening and the screaming from within is too quiet.
Only in the morning do I wake to see if I've survived the night.

What used to be is gone forever. I don't know why it's so hard for me to see.
Haunted is my mind, body and soul... slowly being devoured by my own memory.

I hear the people whisper and I see them turn away.
I shouldn't care so much... but it's hard not to do that today.

I'm hanging here by a thread, on the very edge.
Not to fall again... to myself I've made a pledge.

Another day ends as I sit here under the stars and sky.
Hoping, dreaming and wishing... those are some of the things that help me not to cry.

Is understanding and caring too much to ask?
What will it take for me to be happy enough to remove this mask?

A small plea for help escapes my heart and drifts farther and farther away.
I'll sleep here on the cold grass until peace comes to stay.

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Dreams of Nightmares

Another poem (or short story, in this case) I wrote about my frequent dreams and nightmares.

~~~

"Dreams of Nightmares"

Staring into the darkness as I try to sleep,
While wishing and wondering, my sanity I try to keep.

After hours of tossing and turning,
I close my eyes to stop their burning.

I start to hear voices whispering in my ear,
I ask "Who's there," but nothing do I hear.

My heart beats fast and I feel cold,
Try as I may, I cannot be bold.

I tell myself "You're dreaming,"
Only, as I say those things, I hear someone screaming.

Everything around me flashes and fades away,
All that's left now is me and my dismay.

Terror sweeps over me as I look all around,
I say "Hello," but no one is to be found.

I can still hear the voices and I still feel cold,
"This can't be happening," I whisper as the night gets old.

Blow after blow comes from invisible sources,
I try as hard as I can to I fight back at these forces.

Just when I feel I can take no more,
A hand reaches down and opens a door.

I limp to the exit, nearer to death than I've ever been before,
I hear lightening strike and I fall down to the floor.

My eyes are closed and my body frozen,
But something snatches me from the death that was thought to be chosen.

I fell down through a deep tunnel without much care,
I opened my eyes and inhaled, gasping for air.

Next thing I know, I'm back in my bed,
I sat up slowly and touched my head.

All along, I thought I was, somehow, in reality,
But every night, my nightmares end up getting the best of me.

I wrap myself up and try to stop shivering,
My teeth chatter and my hands refuse to cease their quivering.

The voices stop and my heart slows down,
But just as this happens, I see the sun and make a frown.

My whole night was spent in terror and in vain,
My body aches and I wish I could escape the pain.

My dreams used to be filled with laughter and of fun,
But now, I fear, my horrors have just begun.

I do not know why things happen the way they do,
I know I'm not alone and that you dream, too.

Hiding away, I lock the doors and pray,
Someday soon, peace will come to me and stay.

When I go to bed tonight, I'm sure I'll dream some more,
I only hope that it's of things that don't shake me to my core!

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010