Asli Yeniay Artwork

I just ran across an amazing collection of art. The artist goes by the name of Asli Yeniay. The album in which I found the examples below can be found here.

Someone

Each poem I write has a meaning behind it. This is piece definitely meaningful. I wrote it for a few particular people in my life (whom I will not mention by name). These people test me and my patience, but I love them too much to sit back and watch them destroy themselves day by day. However, like I say in the writing below... I can only do so much before I say "I can do no more".

~~~

"Someone" 

Look into the mirror and see what we all clearly see.

Selfish, prideful and uncaring... that's who you've come to be. 

Life is more than indulging in yourself and using others just for fun.

Take hold of yourself and look within your heart; you'll see your journey has only begun. 

Take time to love and time to reflect.

Without doing these things... you'll soon lose all respect. 

Can't you just put your old ways to rest?

Can't you see it's for the best? 

I don't wanna watch you die.

I'll turn away before I cry. 

There's only so much I can do before I say "I can do no more".

Changing might become easier when you're left alone and when everyone walks out the door. 

I wish you knew how precious your life is to me.

I don't wanna leave your side or ever become your enemy. 

I'm getting tired of holding the hand of someone who pushes me away.

It's hard to go... but it's even harder to stay. 

Wake me when you realize what's right and what's wrong.

Until then, I'll be elsewhere and will be hoping I don't have to wait too long.

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Edgar Allan Poe

As you can probably guess, I am an Edgar Allan Poe fan. His poetry inspires the feeling in a lot of the poems I write (even though the writing style is different). Lots of people say Mr. Poe would be appalled by the "emo poems" of today... but I actually think he would be proud to see that writers still exist in this day and age.

I happened to come across these Poe themed things tonight and wanted to post them.



Beautiful necklace. Wouldn't mind having this piece myself!




Simply put... I love it.



This video tells the story of "The Tell Tale Heart" dreadfully well!

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A Night Under the Stars

 We all wear a mask sometimes. We guard our hearts, even when we know it's impossible to keep things from breaking down the walls we've built. Instead of allowing ourselves to be so involved with the dangerous world around us, we often lay under the stars and dream of what could be...

~~~

"A Night Under the Stars"

From my soul flows a river of uncertainty and fear.
I don't know myself anymore. I often ask, "Am I really here?"

Feeling so angry and yet so carefree,
I can't help but wonder what must be wrong with me.

I stare at the mirror and smile in an attempt to make it look real.
No matter what, I cannot hide from anyone the way I really feel.

The silence is too deafening and the screaming from within is too quiet.
Only in the morning do I wake to see if I've survived the night.

What used to be is gone forever. I don't know why it's so hard for me to see.
Haunted is my mind, body and soul... slowly being devoured by my own memory.

I hear the people whisper and I see them turn away.
I shouldn't care so much... but it's hard not to do that today.

I'm hanging here by a thread, on the very edge.
Not to fall again... to myself I've made a pledge.

Another day ends as I sit here under the stars and sky.
Hoping, dreaming and wishing... those are some of the things that help me not to cry.

Is understanding and caring too much to ask?
What will it take for me to be happy enough to remove this mask?

A small plea for help escapes my heart and drifts farther and farther away.
I'll sleep here on the cold grass until peace comes to stay.

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Blue Hair

I just got my hair dyed for the very first time on Thursday (September 16th). Thought I'd post a couple pictures to show what it looks like. I love it.

I feel more like myself with the blue! I enjoy colors that tend to float around "outside the lines" and in their own vibrant space.

Color compliments of Deja Du Salon in Hixson, Tennessee.
Click this link to see the salon's FaceBook page!

Lost and Lonely

A lot of my poems have a theme about them, I've noticed. They're greatly influenced by the feelings I have during the moment that I decide to write. Most are very melancholy, as I'm sure most people can see.
Writing has become a great outlet for me and it's encouraged a lot of other artistic abilities to surface. I'm grateful for these feelings, however lonely they may be. They're helping me to become a stronger person with each release.

~~~

"Lost and Lonely"

Watch me as I sleep. Keep me safe from the storm.
Can't you feel my body shaking? Won't you keep me warm?

I hear the thunder far away, ever growing near.
Don't wake me as I lay here dreaming. It's only reality I fear.

Look into my eyes and take my lifeless hand.
This moment will soon be gone. Lost forever like a grain of sand.

The clouds form around me and I forget where I'm going.
In which place can I find the knowledge of the knowing?

A hungry soul and a tortured mind,
This life hasn't been easy... and it certainly hasn't been kind.

Oh, please take me away. I long to go where I cannot, at the moment, see.
I suppose I'll just have to wait though. Wait for someone to set me free.

Fragile and fading is the dream within my heart.
Confused and unsure, but never completely apart.

Hold me and tell me all the things I need to hear.
Whisper that you love me and that you'll always be near.

Talking to these shadows and running my hand along the wall,
I do believe I've gone insane... but who, to help me, can I call?

Humming an old tune and simply lying on the ground,
I wait and wait, for eternity, hoping to be found.



Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Steampunk Costume 2010

My Steampunk Halloween costume. Well, the beginnings of it anyway.
I'm not entirely sure of where I'll wear it, but I'm determined to unveil this costume at least once during the month of October! As you can see, I worked rather hard on making sure everything matched. Sorry the photos are a bit bright, by the way.
The joys of taking full-body self photos plus a self timer and minus a good tripod...

Autumn 2010 DeviantART Features

I was looking through some things today on deviantART.com and found a few pieces to share. Most of the drawings are "autumn themed", pairing nicely with the quote I posted at the bottom. I'm excited for this time of year. I can't wait to go to the various festivals, drink apple cider and light the cinnamon candles in my room. Autumn is definitely one of the most beautiful seasons we're privileged to experience on this earth.

~~~***~~~

"Winter is an etching, Spring a watercolor, Summer an oil painting and Autumn a mosaic of them all."
- Stanley Horowitz

Thinking of Me, Thinking of You

This wasn't written for any particular reason or with any particular person in mind. It's really just another one of my lonely and heartfelt tales with little hints of self-reflection and personal confession.

~~~

"Thinking of Me, Thinking of You" 

Cold and alone, I lay here without much feeling.
I wait, hope and pray for strength and for healing.

I do not hear with my ears, nor do I see with my eyes.
My heart and soul do everything now, seeing as how my body only cries.

I need to feel again. I need to brought back to life.
Telling me you love me, and not meaning it, is the same as stabbing me with a knife!

Maybe it won't be like this for too much longer... maybe I'll be okay.
I'm just sitting here, waiting, for someone to come and to stay.

Don't tell me only what I want to hear... tell me the truth 'cause I'm tired of lies.
People that are untrue and unfaithful; those are the people I despise.
 
I'm not like the others and yet I feel the same.
Is there anyone out there that can hear my voice, anyone who knows my name?

The person you see on the outside isn't me at all.
The real me is hidden, it is not of this world; this world that is so very small.

Although I've been cheated and regardless of the fact that I am broken,
My life must go on and I must hear the words that, from my heart, are spoken.

Imperfect and flawed, that's who I am and who I will always be.
Is it too much to want someone to love and to care for me?

I rest my head and I shut my eyes in a desperate attempt to go to sleep.
My prayer isn't just to survive or for Him, my soul, to keep.

I know I'm not the only one and that life must go on...
However, I feel an emptiness that cuts me deep down; all the way to my bone.

I'm not what I seem and I'm not who you think.
Drowning in an ocean of memories, I will forever continue to sink.

Not really knowing who I am or what to do,
I'm still here in your mind, thinking of me... and me, thinking of you.
 

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Liar

I wrote this poem about people that I've dealt with all throughout my life... people that are liars. I didn't write it in their honor, either. More like in their "dishonor" of being dishonest...

~~~

"Liar"

Look at that little lie escaping from your lips.
You go around telling stories; your awful words making frequent trips.

Get your hand off my shoulder and get out of my way.
I can see straight through you and I know who you are today.

In your deceiving ways, oh, you think you're clever.
Falling for more tricks and empty promises is something I refuse to do forever.

Don't smile at me with that ugly mouth, from which spews nothing but poison and deception.
You want attention? Expressing disgust towards what you've become is my only exception.

I hear you banging and clawing at the door to my heart.
The key that once existed has now rusted; long ago did it fall apart.

Stop pretending to be someone you obviously never were before.
You may fool them, but I know what goes on in your mind and behind that closed door.

Go ahead and act without wisdom. Go ahead and step closer to your own demise.
I look at you and all I see is weakness; I can even see a hint of fear in your eyes.

Try as I may, try as I might, I have no more pity for your kind.
How can I pity people who go and make the eyes of their heart blind?

Like a child without any instruction, you run all around.
You'll be sorry when nobody comes to comfort you after you fall to the ground.

Do not come looking for me; I am yours to torture no more.
I've gone to where you cannot find me, somewhere that I can soar.

You're trapped by your own devices and you're consumed by your own hate.
I only hope that others can see the real you before it's too late.



Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Open Door

"Open Door"

I open my eyes and look around.

I expose my soul and listen to its sound.

Everything is different now.
I don't know why, I don't even know how.

Sometimes it seems like I'm dreaming and that I'm not "me" at all.
I'm being careful not to stumble, I'm being careful not to fall.

So much confusion and frustration abound.
I take myself away from it all and in emptiness I surround.

The lights grow ever dim and the hands on the clock spin.
This life is so brutal, sometimes it seems that you can never win.

Time and effort; two things that will always devour the human race.
These things can be wasted simply by looking too intently at someone's face.

Deep feelings and true concern continue to ruin me.
The reasons behind what I do, people always fail to see.

Giving up and letting go is something that's always easier to do.
However, having faith and being wise is something that will pull you through.

I won't settle until I find what I'm looking for.
All I need now is the courage to free my spirit and open the door...



Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Talent Show Bellydance

I finally got my steampunk ear cuff this past Friday. I absolutely love it! It's tiny though... I'll have to be careful not to lose it!

Oh, and in addition, I won 2nd place at the talent show that I did my bellydance in. They had a very diverse group in the adult division. I was happy to receive what I did. =)
Everyone loved my dance... or so they said

I even got 1st place on both of the poems I entered at my county fair. They were the ones entitled "Where It Began" and "Wispy Memory". I entered the first as a poem, the other as prose. I was extremely happy at the results the judges gave me.

Here's a video of my performance from Thursday night (July 22nd, 2010).

Ear Cuffs and Cookie Jars

I just purchased a beautiful piece of jewelry from COGnitivecreations at Etsy and thought I'd share it with you. It's a steampunk themed ear cuff, complete with tiny watch parts and metal stars. I love it! I should receive it in about a week or so if all goes well.





Also, I bought a cookie jar on Ebay today. It's identical to the one that my Grandmother Zola Wooden used to have. It was handed down to her from my great-grandmother. It was very special to me.
However, not knowing that I loved the cookie jar so much, grandma gave it away to one of my other relatives a couple years ago. It was only recently that I found this one on-line for a little over $40.00 and decided to buy it. I'm glad I did, too. I'm going to re-paint it and show it to my grandmother. I think she'll be proud.
The cookie jar tells the story of Hansel and Gretel. When it used to be in grandma's house, I'd always go over and tell my younger cousins scary stories which included the original Hansel and Gretel fable, using the cookie jar as a visual for them. I never ceased to amaze them with my dark tales. They would want to hear my stories every time we were near the cookie jar! 

Smiling Faces

Short poem I wrote today. This one isn't really all that different when compared to my older ones. It's about loneliness and the strange, terrible feeling you get when faced with a world full of people that expect entirely too much of you. We live in a place where you either have to "Face it or Fake it" to make it through the day.

~~~

"Smiling Faces"

As the wind blows and the shadows dance,
There, in the corner, sits a girl who knows not the meaning of "romance".

She's never heard the word "love" and been able to truly understand,
Her soul is incapable of trusting someone who offers her their hand.

The night smothers her in loneliness and her tiny body aches,
Her dreams are filled with horror, dreams of death and of earthquakes.

Walking blindly into danger, she's done it way too many times before,
Always having regrets and failing to see life as anything other than a "chore".

Surrounded by fake people, shining brightly with smiling faces,
She can't help but wonder if they, in their lives, are dealing with similar cases.

Everything in her life that was once magical and real,
Has no value and has been thrown away, yet her secrets she plans to forever conceal.

Flashbacks and daydreams are an unhealthy combination for a person such as this,
This person with a memory of words and of actions, this person who is so frequently dismissed.

She doesn't beg or ask for your pity, she doesn't want those things at all,
She only asks that have mercy and that you respect her, crying out to you, she calls.

Refuge she takes in the strangest of places,
Just as long as she can get away from all of those people and their smiling faces...

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Normality

I decided to write a poem about how things were during my childhood, somewhat. This is what I ended up with. Hope you like it.

~~~

"Normality"

Far from popular, in my younger days, I remember always being alone.
Existing as nothing but a “freak” to most, not much kindness was ever shown.

Never quite knowing what else to do, I'd speak to my only friends...
Which, of course, were invisible to you.

Rescuing bugs from the hands of mean little boys was my duty.
In all things labeled "disgusting", I somehow seemed to find beauty.

I haven't changed much since then at all.
I don’t let the lies of others make me feel small.

I'm always going to remind my children, when they arrive, of how special they truly are.
Whenever they feel lonely at night, I hope they look up to the brightest star.

Unique and simply "you", please never fear to be.
When you have imagination, you're never really stuck in reality.

Now that I'm grown and have taken time to look back at my past,
I'm very glad that I let my true personality last.

The children that used to make fun of me are no longer doing so at this time.
It has taken them years to see that being different isn't a crime.

Being a "freak" has more good things about it than bad.
Don't allow people to ruin your life or make you sad.

Happy in being myself I choose to forever be,
Nothing can hold you back if you protect yourself from the sickness of "normality".

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Princess in the Tower

I wrote this poem while attending a rather boring meeting. Boredom often brings out the best in a creative mind! I'm very happy with how this particular piece turned out.

~~~

"Princess in the Tower"

Hoping for someone to hold,
All the while, growing old.

A princess sits and waits,
In her heart stirs much debate.

Peering out her window, feeling very alone,
Her hands are clasped together but are still cold as stone.

Her feet, back and forth, are pacing,
Her mind constantly racing.

"Oh, how much longer must I wait?",
With her whole being she questions fate.

In her tower, she dances around,
Her supposed "prince charming" is nowhere to be found.

With her fingertips, she writes in the dust,
All the world's treasures are becoming piles of rust.

Content she will forever pretend to be,
"Lucky" she considers those with no memory.

Hopeful, yet discouraged, determined yet dismayed,
Who is brave enough to find her, without their heart being decayed?

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Wispy Memory

Dedicated to anyone who has ever felt invisible...

~~~

"Wispy Memory"

Can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?
Will the world stand still for those whose time is fleeting?

Isn’t there something I can do?
Is it too late for me to find you?

The bells ring and the clocks tick.
While I’m waiting, the darkness becomes thick.

Walking out into the forest, I find myself unafraid.
The wind blows and the trees screech as I watch the animals form a parade.

They were not frightened when I walked right by.
I wondered if they had seen me… but maybe it was too dark by the night sky.

I lean down to pet a small, white rabbit;
But try as I may, I cannot grab it!

That’s when I started to become filled with fear.
The animals and the people don’t even know I’m here!

I was always curious as to why my friends no longer looked my direction;
And why whenever I looked in the mirror, I found no reflection.

I walked through the woods, being very much alone and confused.
I sat down next to a rock, picking flowers, feeling anything but amused.

It was only a short time until I discovered that I wasn’t alone after all.
The stone I had been sitting on was a tomb and the writing on it was very small.

I peered down at the words for a while, trying to understand.
When I saw the name of the person buried there, I dropped the rose that was in my hand.

The person buried underneath my feet had the same name as me.
How, oh how, can this possibly be?!

Something was out of place when I felt the same as any other time while standing in the snow.
It was odd how no matter what happened to me, no one’s concern seemed to show.

I never felt hot and I never felt cold.
Stories of things like this I had always been told.

I didn’t know what to do with myself, once I found out that I was a ghost.
This state of body is not something of which I would ever, ever boast.

My hands, though I had never noticed before, could be seen straight through.
Frustrated and devastated, I asked my being, “What has happened to you?”

I have no recollection of my last moment as someone that could be seen and heard.
I truly wish I could have someone udder to me one last word.

Accepting my current existence as a wispy memory;
I pick the rose back up and lay it on my tomb, saying goodbye to the old me.

Without hunger, without exhaustion, without anything but my freedom and I;
I travel deeper into the forest still, searching for someone to say a simple “Hi”.

I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t know what to do;
All I know is that I’m searching... and that one day, I’ll find you...

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Dreams of Nightmares

Another poem (or short story, in this case) I wrote about my frequent dreams and nightmares.

~~~

"Dreams of Nightmares"

Staring into the darkness as I try to sleep,
While wishing and wondering, my sanity I try to keep.

After hours of tossing and turning,
I close my eyes to stop their burning.

I start to hear voices whispering in my ear,
I ask "Who's there," but nothing do I hear.

My heart beats fast and I feel cold,
Try as I may, I cannot be bold.

I tell myself "You're dreaming,"
Only, as I say those things, I hear someone screaming.

Everything around me flashes and fades away,
All that's left now is me and my dismay.

Terror sweeps over me as I look all around,
I say "Hello," but no one is to be found.

I can still hear the voices and I still feel cold,
"This can't be happening," I whisper as the night gets old.

Blow after blow comes from invisible sources,
I try as hard as I can to I fight back at these forces.

Just when I feel I can take no more,
A hand reaches down and opens a door.

I limp to the exit, nearer to death than I've ever been before,
I hear lightening strike and I fall down to the floor.

My eyes are closed and my body frozen,
But something snatches me from the death that was thought to be chosen.

I fell down through a deep tunnel without much care,
I opened my eyes and inhaled, gasping for air.

Next thing I know, I'm back in my bed,
I sat up slowly and touched my head.

All along, I thought I was, somehow, in reality,
But every night, my nightmares end up getting the best of me.

I wrap myself up and try to stop shivering,
My teeth chatter and my hands refuse to cease their quivering.

The voices stop and my heart slows down,
But just as this happens, I see the sun and make a frown.

My whole night was spent in terror and in vain,
My body aches and I wish I could escape the pain.

My dreams used to be filled with laughter and of fun,
But now, I fear, my horrors have just begun.

I do not know why things happen the way they do,
I know I'm not alone and that you dream, too.

Hiding away, I lock the doors and pray,
Someday soon, peace will come to me and stay.

When I go to bed tonight, I'm sure I'll dream some more,
I only hope that it's of things that don't shake me to my core!

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010

Recent poetry

I plan to enter these in the upcoming County Fair that my town hosts. I live in a small town with few writers, so hopefully my poems will get good reviews!

"Reflections of Fallen Kingdoms"

I used to be a queen, I used to have a crown,
but now you've run away and have left me feeling down.

I've spent many a night, fighting to erase the images of your face,
but never can I forget the feeling of your embrace.

You tell me all the things that every girl wants to hear,
but when I think of your broken promises, I always shed a tear.

I trusted you when you told me you wanted me to be your wife,
but now I'm alone and all that remains is strife.

Don't ask me why I still love you, I have plenty of reasons to hate,
but since God's telling me to, I plan to always wait.

You've lost something irreplaceable, therefore I know you'll suffer with much pain,
on your darkest night, I hope you see my ghost as it stands out in the rain.

I do not plan on seeking revenge,
however I do know that your time of joy will soon come to an end.

As you lie to her and repeat all the things you once said to me,
I hope she can find a way to escape the greatest agony.

Your future looks dull because of the things that have been done,
only sincerity and redemption can stop what you've begun.

You no longer love me, this I've come to accept,
but whenever you remember how much I cared for you, I hope you question your "logical" concept.

I feel like I've been hurt beyond repair,
but I just thank God that even though you're gone, HE'S still there.

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010



"Royalty in Reserve"

Fellow royalty, take heart and be wise,
sometimes your enemy will be in disguise.

Don't let the thief take your crown or your throne,
for he will lie to you until he can call what's rightfully yours "his own".

He may seem innocent and sweet at first,
but he will stop at nothing to make you feel your worst.

He will bow before you and kiss your feet,
but will laugh at you, hurt you and refuse retreat.

Charmed you may be by his magic and his voice,
but soon you will regret your unlikely choice.

Do not open your door when he comes and knocks,
be sure to instead tie your windows and check the locks.

This boy I speak of is no man,
he is a child of deceit and will lie to you if he can.

I know these things, have seen them and have come to warn,
because I've seen his destruction, I advise you, when he comes, to scorn.

Do not harm him in any way except his pride,
the best way to do this is to never, ever be snide.

Show this child everything he cannot be,
make him say, "Why on earth do they care for ME?"

Pray for him and show him his options,
but know in your heart that only God can stop him.

The Lord created this person with a plan and a purpose,
however, He will not let him continue to intentionally hurt us.

Be careful and know you're not alone in your fight,
the Lord sees everything and knows what you need to make it through each night.

Do not settle for anything less than what you deserve,
you are, after all, royalty in reserve.

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010



"Where It Began"

I cannot find my heart. Where, oh where has it gone?
I look but do not touch because I'm afraid to be alone.

What if the next person leaves me after telling me loads of lies?
Will I be smart enough to see the demon in his cleverest disguise?

The darkness creeps up on me and holds me in it's tightest grasp.
I sit in the shadows, waiting, how long will this nightmare last?

"Go away," I scream with all my might and power.
Forever, this seems... though it's only been an hour.

It's as if I've died and am watching someone else's life from above.
What happened and how will I find my one, real, true love?

I cried out with my whole heart and said, "I love and I need you."
But in all your pride and arrogance, you couldn't say "I love you, too."

I often wonder, now that I'm alone, "Why the heck did I even bother?"
My children, when they are born, will be glad that you're not their father.

I'm cold... but no longer reach for your hand.
You instead turn away and now I understand.

You're not good enough, you said it a million times, a million ways.
I'm looking for the one whose love won't leave, but instead always stays.

"Wake me from this dream," I pray each and every night.
Soon though, I know I'll get my wings and take flight.

Every bit of trust I once had is now history.
Why it had to be this way is nothing but a mystery.

I fell down, down, down; into the deepest pit.
My body aches all over. Oh what must I have hit?

I feel so confused and frustrated by all of this.
It's as if I'm not myself... is there something I could have missed?

The moon goes down and the sun comes up.
All that's left of my feast is now a single, empty cup.

My tears are black and streaked, too many I cry each day.
It won't be like this forever and I refuse to fade away.

Don't tell me you care if, in truth, you don't at all.
I've climbed up to the top and you will not make me fall.

Some may call it silly, but I know it's what I must do.
I'm hiding my feelings away, but maybe, one day, they'll reach out to you.

I have so much to say, yet I say nothing whatsoever.
I can keep you guessing from now until the end of forever.

My heart is still missing, but maybe someone will, one day, return it to me.
And when that someone comes, I pray that he'll be everything he needs to be.

I'm really trying to be smart and keep my wits about.
All in all, I have to say though, it's very hard not to doubt.

I put my hand on my heart and felt it beating inside.
In the face of death I whispered, "No. You, my friend, are the one I've defied."

My time is not yet over, try and catch me if you can.
For this is not the end, but only where it began...

Copyright Casandra Camp 2010